Love Never Fades— We are the Ones Who Drift Away

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Kishou · Nov 6, 2024
Though love is considered part of human nature, many people question or deny its existence because of past traumas or an absence of love in their lives. However, the real problem lies in their inner disconnection from love. Rebuilding trust in love and cultivating self-love are crucial to overcoming loneliness and rediscovering the warmth and truth of love.

While some view love as an intrinsic human quality, the soul’s warmest refuge, others are deeply skeptical of its existence, even outright denying it. They argue that there is no love in the world, or that love is nothing more than an illusion or a tool for survival.

These beliefs are not so much a result of them having seen through love, but rather that, deep within, they have been cast aside by their own love—or more accurately, they have become disconnected from love.

 

I. Skepticism Toward Love: What Causes It?”

People often doubt or stop believing in love due to past experiences, particularly those marked by betrayal or disappointment. After being hurt, they build emotional walls to shield themselves from pain. For example, some people have given their love wholeheartedly, only to be betrayed, ignored, or harmed. Fear of further hurt leads them to reject love as a form of self-protection.

For some, a lack of love in childhood—due to cold families, harsh environments, or a lack of care—leaves them with no real understanding of love. It feels foreign and even luxurious to them, as they’ve never experienced it. Love becomes an abstract ideal—something they’ve never known, not a tangible emotional bond they can believe in.

 

The Absence of Self-Love: The Suffering of Self-Abandonment

Being abandoned by one’s own love means not only losing external affection but also losing self-love, which is especially common among those who constantly self-deny and feel inner loneliness. Self-love is essential for happiness and security, but when someone feels worthless or rejects their own being, they fall into an emotional void. This self-abandonment makes it hard for them to trust love, as their lack of self-love leads them to believe no one can truly love them.

Being abandoned by one’s own love is like wandering in a barren desert, with no warmth or comfort to be found. Such people tend to become distant, withdrawn, and skeptical of all emotional connections. They perceive love as a fantasy because they have never truly experienced it, and this emotional deprivation is rooted in their disconnection from the love deep within themselves.

 

Re-embracing Love: Rebuilding Inner Love and Trust

or those who do not believe in love or no longer love themselves, re-embracing love is a difficult but essential journey. It is not about seeking external validation, but about starting from within—relearning and understanding love, ultimately accepting both self-love and love from the world.

1. Healing Past Wounds: To restore trust in love, healing past hurts is essential. Those who have been hurt need to take the time to face their wounds and let go of inner pain. This journey may need the support of others or professional help, but as they start to heal, their barriers and doubts will begin to diminish.

2. Learning to Love Oneself: To love others, one must first learn to accept and appreciate oneself. Loving oneself involves self-compassion, acknowledging emotional needs, and giving oneself understanding. A person who truly practices self-love can cultivate the capacity to give and receive love.

3. Opening the Heart to Receive Love: Long-term isolation can lead to loneliness, indifference, and even a loss of sensitivity to love. Opening up courageously gives others a chance to show love, and it also gives oneself the chance to experience love once more.

4. Cultivating a Love for Life: Love extends beyond relationships to include a deep appreciation for life itself. Developing interests, enjoying nature, and engaging in beauty can help build a genuine love for life. In time, this warmth can break down inner barriers, allowing a renewed sense of love to emerge.

4. Love Brings Wholeness

When someone reconnects with love, they realize it was never truly absent. Love is not just emotional exchange, but a source of comfort and strength. Rediscovering love brings hope, warmth, and purpose. By believing in and embracing love, including self-love, a person moves from loneliness to a heart full of life and warmth.

For those who have lost trust in love and abandoned themselves, starting with self-acceptance and learning to understand and embrace love again will help them realize that love completes them, guiding them out of the emptiness of living without love, and bringing true inner peace and fulfillment.

Love is not a fragile emotion or an unattainable ideal, but a deep and real presence. When someone reopens to love, it becomes like a warm light, illuminating the darkness within and dispelling long-held shadows. In this light, people can see themselves more clearly, confront wounds and vulnerabilities they once avoided, and recognize the possibility of healing and hope for the future.

 

Conclusion: Reclaiming Love, Returning to Self

Some people do not believe in the existence of love, thinking they no longer need it. In reality, they have simply been abandoned by the love within themselves and disconnected from their true self.

To break free from this loveless predicament, one must start from the heart, rediscover the ability to love oneself, trust others, and embrace life. Only then can they reconnect with the love deep within, experiencing the warmth and strength it brings. When love is no longer an illusion but a tangible part of life, they will realize that love has always been within them—it never truly left.

Perhaps, on the journey of life, we all need to reconnect with love. For only love can make our lives whole and meaningful; only love can free us from loneliness. May those who have once felt abandoned by their own love find its source again deep within, embrace love and warmth, and move toward their true selves, walking the path of a fulfilled life.

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Pure dharma, the vessel to the other shore

Pure dharma, the vessel to the other shore

Master Wonder · Feb 5, 2025

Only by following the guidance of pure teachings can we build a strong and solid foundation for our practice, ensuring that our growth will lead us straight to enlightenment. This article was inspired by a conversation I had with a nun in a meditation hall, and I felt compelled to write it down. Spiritual practice […]

以净法为根,成方便之舟,直达彼岸

Master Wonder · Feb 5, 2025

“净法接引”才能让我们在修行上根基圆满和扎实,未来成长才能更好直达彼岸。 故事缘起于与一位比丘尼的禅堂对话中,应感而发写出了这篇文章。 修行是一条漫长而深远的道路,它不仅关乎个人的觉悟,也影响整个世界的善念与福祉。而在这条路上,最关键的问题是:我们究竟应该如何开始?该依循怎样的引导? 有些人修行多年,依然徘徊在烦恼与执着之中,未能真正解脱;有些人虽然修得勤奋,却始终在表象中打转,未能触及智慧的本质。为什么会这样?根源就在于接引的问题。 “净法接引”就如同一颗上乘的种子,直接决定了修行的根基是否纯正、扎实。它是直指本心、不被杂染的清净法门,能让修行者从一开始就走在正道之上,少走弯路。 相比之下,“方便法接引”则更像是一套完整的学习体系,帮助修行者在不同层次不断进阶,逐步迈向更高的智慧境界。 如果把修行比作生命的成长,那么净法接引就像优质的DNA,决定了修行品质的根本,而方便法接引则像是完整的教育体系,让修行者从基础到高阶,步步踏实地提升,最终直达彼岸。 那么,什么是净法?什么是方便法?为什么修行者必须依净法建立根基,而不能仅仅停留在方便法之中?让我们深入探讨。 一、“净法接引”——修行的根基,决定未来的高度 1. 净法的本质——超越生灭,直指真如 净法,是超越一切生灭、执着、幻象的法门。它不依赖形式,不执著语言,而是直指修行者内在的觉悟。 就像清澈的泉水,能直接滋养生命,而不会被外界的污染所扰动。 在修行的道路上,很多人误以为各种仪式、外在的修持方式就是修行的全部。然而,若缺少净法的根基,即便再多的仪轨、再多的咒语,也无法真正触及修行的本质。净法强调的不是外在的行为,而是内在的觉悟、智慧的开启。 净法的核心在于: 一个人若从一开始就接触到净法,他的修行就像种下一颗优质的种子,这颗种子自带强大的生命力,能够自行成长,不受外界风雨的影响。 2. 净法接引如同优质的DNA,决定修行的方向 基因决定了生命的质量,同样,净法决定了修行的根本方向。若修行从一开始就建立在净法之上,那么这个人的信仰根基就是纯正的,他不会被各种杂乱的思想所动摇,更不会陷入迷信或盲从之中。 相反,若一个人的修行基因充满了执着、迷惑、功利心,那么他即便修行多年,也可能始终在妄念的世界里打转,无法突破自己的限制。 净法接引的意义,在于让修行者从最初就明白: 净法,如同基因决定了身体的品质,它决定了修行者未来能走多远,能达到怎样的智慧境界。 二、“方便法接引”——适应成长阶段,引导向上提升 1. 方便法的价值——引导不同根器的众生进入修行 佛陀曾说:“随众生心,应所知量。” 众生的根性不同,智慧不同,因此法门不能一概而论,而必须善巧方便地引导。 这就是方便法的意义。 对于初学者而言,如果直接告诉他“无我”“涅槃”“空性”,他可能完全无法理解,甚至会误以为修行是消极避世。因此,方便法的作用就是让不同层次的人都能从适合自己的角度入门,在逐步接受、理解的过程中,慢慢进入更高的境界。 就像教育体系从幼儿园到大学一样,方便法的安排,是为了让每个人都能在自己的理解范围内找到适合的修行方式。 2. 方便法的局限——若执著于形式,便难以超越 虽然方便法能让修行者有序进步,但若执著于方便,而不回归净法,那么修行就会停滞,甚至误入歧途。 例如,有些人认为做善事、布施就是修行的全部,但若缺少智慧,善行仍然停留在世俗层面,而未能进入真正的觉悟。 还有些人执著于宗教仪式和规矩,但若没有理解其中的智慧,那么这些仪轨就只是形式,并不能真正帮助他解脱烦恼。 真正的修行者,不能永远停留在方便法之中,而是要在方便的引导下,最终迈向净法,超越一切表象,直达智慧的本质。 三、净法与方便法的结合——真正的修行之道 净法是目标,方便法是过程。真正的修行者,必须善用方便法,但最终必须回归净法。 1. 先以方便法引导,让众生建立修行的基础。比如,从因果观念、持戒修善等入手,让人们从基础建立起正确的信仰态度。 2. 再以净法引领,让修行者超越一切执著。当修行者具备一定的理解力后,引导他放下执著,回归本心,直指解脱之道。 净法与方便法的结合,才能让修行者既不迷失方向,又能稳步提升,最终抵达智慧的彼岸。 结语:以净法为根,以方便为助,最终直达彼岸 修行的根基决定了修行的质量,信仰的引导决定了修行的方向。 若能以净法接引,修行者的根基便能稳固扎实,未来的成长才能不被外界干扰,最终抵达真正的解脱。 愿我们都能在净法的指引下,稳固根基,步步精进,最终迈向真正的觉悟之境!

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