Love Never Fades— We are the Ones Who Drift Away

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Kishou · Nov 6, 2024
Though love is considered part of human nature, many people question or deny its existence because of past traumas or an absence of love in their lives. However, the real problem lies in their inner disconnection from love. Rebuilding trust in love and cultivating self-love are crucial to overcoming loneliness and rediscovering the warmth and truth of love.

While some view love as an intrinsic human quality, the soul’s warmest refuge, others are deeply skeptical of its existence, even outright denying it. They argue that there is no love in the world, or that love is nothing more than an illusion or a tool for survival.

These beliefs are not so much a result of them having seen through love, but rather that, deep within, they have been cast aside by their own love—or more accurately, they have become disconnected from love.

 

I. Skepticism Toward Love: What Causes It?”

People often doubt or stop believing in love due to past experiences, particularly those marked by betrayal or disappointment. After being hurt, they build emotional walls to shield themselves from pain. For example, some people have given their love wholeheartedly, only to be betrayed, ignored, or harmed. Fear of further hurt leads them to reject love as a form of self-protection.

For some, a lack of love in childhood—due to cold families, harsh environments, or a lack of care—leaves them with no real understanding of love. It feels foreign and even luxurious to them, as they’ve never experienced it. Love becomes an abstract ideal—something they’ve never known, not a tangible emotional bond they can believe in.

 

The Absence of Self-Love: The Suffering of Self-Abandonment

Being abandoned by one’s own love means not only losing external affection but also losing self-love, which is especially common among those who constantly self-deny and feel inner loneliness. Self-love is essential for happiness and security, but when someone feels worthless or rejects their own being, they fall into an emotional void. This self-abandonment makes it hard for them to trust love, as their lack of self-love leads them to believe no one can truly love them.

Being abandoned by one’s own love is like wandering in a barren desert, with no warmth or comfort to be found. Such people tend to become distant, withdrawn, and skeptical of all emotional connections. They perceive love as a fantasy because they have never truly experienced it, and this emotional deprivation is rooted in their disconnection from the love deep within themselves.

 

Re-embracing Love: Rebuilding Inner Love and Trust

or those who do not believe in love or no longer love themselves, re-embracing love is a difficult but essential journey. It is not about seeking external validation, but about starting from within—relearning and understanding love, ultimately accepting both self-love and love from the world.

1. Healing Past Wounds: To restore trust in love, healing past hurts is essential. Those who have been hurt need to take the time to face their wounds and let go of inner pain. This journey may need the support of others or professional help, but as they start to heal, their barriers and doubts will begin to diminish.

2. Learning to Love Oneself: To love others, one must first learn to accept and appreciate oneself. Loving oneself involves self-compassion, acknowledging emotional needs, and giving oneself understanding. A person who truly practices self-love can cultivate the capacity to give and receive love.

3. Opening the Heart to Receive Love: Long-term isolation can lead to loneliness, indifference, and even a loss of sensitivity to love. Opening up courageously gives others a chance to show love, and it also gives oneself the chance to experience love once more.

4. Cultivating a Love for Life: Love extends beyond relationships to include a deep appreciation for life itself. Developing interests, enjoying nature, and engaging in beauty can help build a genuine love for life. In time, this warmth can break down inner barriers, allowing a renewed sense of love to emerge.

4. Love Brings Wholeness

When someone reconnects with love, they realize it was never truly absent. Love is not just emotional exchange, but a source of comfort and strength. Rediscovering love brings hope, warmth, and purpose. By believing in and embracing love, including self-love, a person moves from loneliness to a heart full of life and warmth.

For those who have lost trust in love and abandoned themselves, starting with self-acceptance and learning to understand and embrace love again will help them realize that love completes them, guiding them out of the emptiness of living without love, and bringing true inner peace and fulfillment.

Love is not a fragile emotion or an unattainable ideal, but a deep and real presence. When someone reopens to love, it becomes like a warm light, illuminating the darkness within and dispelling long-held shadows. In this light, people can see themselves more clearly, confront wounds and vulnerabilities they once avoided, and recognize the possibility of healing and hope for the future.

 

Conclusion: Reclaiming Love, Returning to Self

Some people do not believe in the existence of love, thinking they no longer need it. In reality, they have simply been abandoned by the love within themselves and disconnected from their true self.

To break free from this loveless predicament, one must start from the heart, rediscover the ability to love oneself, trust others, and embrace life. Only then can they reconnect with the love deep within, experiencing the warmth and strength it brings. When love is no longer an illusion but a tangible part of life, they will realize that love has always been within them—it never truly left.

Perhaps, on the journey of life, we all need to reconnect with love. For only love can make our lives whole and meaningful; only love can free us from loneliness. May those who have once felt abandoned by their own love find its source again deep within, embrace love and warmth, and move toward their true selves, walking the path of a fulfilled life.

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幼年谋生之殃:近代东亚儒家社会教育的隐形困局与文明隐患

幼年谋生之殃:近代东亚儒家社会教育的隐形困局与文明隐患

Kishou · Jul 2, 2025

前言:一场文明深处的隐性病灶 表面上,日韩、新加坡等东亚儒家文化圈国家,社会井然、治安良好、教育体制严密,被视作现代文明的东方式典范。然而在这光鲜秩序之下,隐藏着一场长期、系统性的文明性塌陷:幼年谋生型教育体系。 这种现象,源于近代以来东亚各国在现代国家化、工业化进程中,将儒家文化片面功利化、等级化、服从化利用,形成一种将儿童过早推向生存竞争、社会责任、现实功利轨道的教育体制。孩子尚未完成人格发育,即被要求谋生、考核、服从、争位,失去梦想与探索的权利,最终沦为制度化社会的“高效工具人”。 一、东亚儒家社会幼年谋生教育的结构性机制 1. 工业国家化进程中的制度化早期社会化 日本、韩国、新加坡,自19世纪末至20世纪中后叶,相继步入工业化和国家治理现代化。为了培养纪律性劳动力与服从型国民,国家将教育体制变为“顺从规范、适应秩序”的训练场。 幼稚园起,儿童被要求独立生活、整理内务、分担班级责任。小学全面实施集体责任制、等级考核、服从教育。教育目标不在于人格养成,而是“尽早适应社会”。 2. 功利性等级价值观主导 东亚儒家文化圈,长期重视“成败分明”“功名晋升”,近代国家化进程中更将此推至极致。学业排名、行为评比、集体规则量化从小学起贯穿教育全过程,孩子被要求“别麻烦他人”“别拖后腿”“为家庭争光”。 个人梦想、兴趣、创造被视为不务正业,价值观高度功利化,谋生能力成为唯一社会通行证。 3. 家庭、学校、社会三方共谋机制 传统儒家文化中的家族责任观与近现代国家治理目标相互叠加,形成家庭—学校—社会三重压力体系。 家长将子女视作家庭未来保障与荣耀载体,教育即“家庭投资”。学校成为选拔与驯化场,社会则是竞争考场。幼年便灌输“进名校”“进大企”“稳定收入”理念,精神成长空间被彻底压缩,教育沦为生存竞争机器。 二、个体层面的深层危害 1.梦想能力与人格自由被剥夺 幼年本应是幻想、好奇、探索、试错的人格发育阶段,东亚幼年谋生教育却强制孩子学会利益计算、欲望压抑、风险规避,扼杀“做梦”的能力。 成年后普遍精神麻木、价值虚无,丧失自我探索与人生追问动力。 2. 情感压抑与内耗人格 “别麻烦他人”“集体优先”“为家族争光”的教育文化,长期抹杀真实情感表达,导致东亚社会青少年普遍不敢表达悲伤、愤怒、恐惧。成年后陷入强迫性工作狂、社交恐惧、自闭症倾向、社畜文化与孤独死问题。 日韩、新加坡均长期处于发达国家青少年自杀率前列。 3. 自我价值感低落 过度依赖他人评价,缺乏内在价值认同,成年后习惯以公司、家庭、社会认同为人生坐标,极易崩溃、自我否定,形成精神空壳化。 三、社会结构层面的文明隐患 1.大规模“工具人化” 批量制造“谋生之孩”,成年后执行力强、创新力弱、价值趋同,成为制度化社会“有效工具”。社会缺少文明进化所需的颠覆性创新与精神活力。 日本“社畜文化”、韩国“过劳死经济”、新加坡“绩优社畜现象”正是典型表现。 2. 精神文明衰退与文化空洞化 东亚社会长期实用功利化教育导致文化创新力下降,年轻人沉溺宅文化、虚拟偶像、手游经济、低欲望生活,“文明空洞”现象日益严重。 日韩近30年经济停滞、文化软实力衰退、新加坡青年抑郁率上升,均源自幼年谋生教育对精神文明活力的蚕食。 四、文明演化视角下的结构性危机 完整公民制度的信仰体系,灵魂信仰保障内在尊严,文明信仰保障外在秩序。两者文明进步依赖有梦想、有创造、有反叛精神的人群,而非单纯执行者。 儒家文化型社会若继续将儿童过早异化为谋生机器,虽表面稳定秩序井然,实则失去文明进化动能。 近30年日韩经济创新力衰退、文化对外影响力式微,正源于此。文明若无“做梦者”,必然走向稳定化→保守化→僵化→退化之路。 五、文明型社会对比 北欧国家(瑞典、芬兰、挪威)教育体系,坚持: 这些国家创新力、幸福指数、青少年心理健康、社会信任度远超东亚儒家文化圈,成为现代文明型社会典范。 六、结语:东亚儒家文化圈社会的文明自救 孩子不该只学谋生。真正的教育,应守护基本生存技能之外,更重要的是保留梦想、质疑、探索、反叛、突破的生命本能。儒家文化型社会若想摆脱文明停滞、创新衰退、精神危机,必须: 否则,继续制造“谋生之孩”,东亚文明将陷入温水慢煮式衰败,终成稳定、无梦、无文化生命力的文明遗骸。 七、附名词解释: 幼年谋生教育(Early Livelihood-oriented Education) 指的是一种将成年社会生存法则、责任体系与功利性价值观,提前强加给学龄前至青少年儿童的教育模式。其核心特征是: 将孩子视为未来劳动力与社会秩序执行者,而非独立人格和梦想实践者,使其过早学会现实妥协、社会谋生、规则服从,而忽视人格养成、情感自由、梦想激发与批判性精神培养。 这一教育方式通常表现为: 核心目的: 通过教育早期社会化、集体规范化、工具技能化,制造稳定、服从、高效、善于谋生的社会工具人群体,为成年社会体系持续输送“稳定零件”。

The Two Beliefs of a Complete Citizen

The Two Beliefs of a Complete Citizen

Master Wonder · Jun 20, 2025

Introduction Since the birth of life, faith has always played an essential role in it. Throughout every stage of human society, faith has never been absent. From primitive totems and religious worship to modern national narratives and the belief in technological supremacy, faith has been a driving force that sustains collective identity, shapes personal values, […]

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