Love Never Fades— We are the Ones Who Drift Away

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Kishou · Nov 6, 2024
Though love is considered part of human nature, many people question or deny its existence because of past traumas or an absence of love in their lives. However, the real problem lies in their inner disconnection from love. Rebuilding trust in love and cultivating self-love are crucial to overcoming loneliness and rediscovering the warmth and truth of love.

While some view love as an intrinsic human quality, the soul’s warmest refuge, others are deeply skeptical of its existence, even outright denying it. They argue that there is no love in the world, or that love is nothing more than an illusion or a tool for survival.

These beliefs are not so much a result of them having seen through love, but rather that, deep within, they have been cast aside by their own love—or more accurately, they have become disconnected from love.

 

I. Skepticism Toward Love: What Causes It?”

People often doubt or stop believing in love due to past experiences, particularly those marked by betrayal or disappointment. After being hurt, they build emotional walls to shield themselves from pain. For example, some people have given their love wholeheartedly, only to be betrayed, ignored, or harmed. Fear of further hurt leads them to reject love as a form of self-protection.

For some, a lack of love in childhood—due to cold families, harsh environments, or a lack of care—leaves them with no real understanding of love. It feels foreign and even luxurious to them, as they’ve never experienced it. Love becomes an abstract ideal—something they’ve never known, not a tangible emotional bond they can believe in.

 

The Absence of Self-Love: The Suffering of Self-Abandonment

Being abandoned by one’s own love means not only losing external affection but also losing self-love, which is especially common among those who constantly self-deny and feel inner loneliness. Self-love is essential for happiness and security, but when someone feels worthless or rejects their own being, they fall into an emotional void. This self-abandonment makes it hard for them to trust love, as their lack of self-love leads them to believe no one can truly love them.

Being abandoned by one’s own love is like wandering in a barren desert, with no warmth or comfort to be found. Such people tend to become distant, withdrawn, and skeptical of all emotional connections. They perceive love as a fantasy because they have never truly experienced it, and this emotional deprivation is rooted in their disconnection from the love deep within themselves.

 

Re-embracing Love: Rebuilding Inner Love and Trust

or those who do not believe in love or no longer love themselves, re-embracing love is a difficult but essential journey. It is not about seeking external validation, but about starting from within—relearning and understanding love, ultimately accepting both self-love and love from the world.

1. Healing Past Wounds: To restore trust in love, healing past hurts is essential. Those who have been hurt need to take the time to face their wounds and let go of inner pain. This journey may need the support of others or professional help, but as they start to heal, their barriers and doubts will begin to diminish.

2. Learning to Love Oneself: To love others, one must first learn to accept and appreciate oneself. Loving oneself involves self-compassion, acknowledging emotional needs, and giving oneself understanding. A person who truly practices self-love can cultivate the capacity to give and receive love.

3. Opening the Heart to Receive Love: Long-term isolation can lead to loneliness, indifference, and even a loss of sensitivity to love. Opening up courageously gives others a chance to show love, and it also gives oneself the chance to experience love once more.

4. Cultivating a Love for Life: Love extends beyond relationships to include a deep appreciation for life itself. Developing interests, enjoying nature, and engaging in beauty can help build a genuine love for life. In time, this warmth can break down inner barriers, allowing a renewed sense of love to emerge.

4. Love Brings Wholeness

When someone reconnects with love, they realize it was never truly absent. Love is not just emotional exchange, but a source of comfort and strength. Rediscovering love brings hope, warmth, and purpose. By believing in and embracing love, including self-love, a person moves from loneliness to a heart full of life and warmth.

For those who have lost trust in love and abandoned themselves, starting with self-acceptance and learning to understand and embrace love again will help them realize that love completes them, guiding them out of the emptiness of living without love, and bringing true inner peace and fulfillment.

Love is not a fragile emotion or an unattainable ideal, but a deep and real presence. When someone reopens to love, it becomes like a warm light, illuminating the darkness within and dispelling long-held shadows. In this light, people can see themselves more clearly, confront wounds and vulnerabilities they once avoided, and recognize the possibility of healing and hope for the future.

 

Conclusion: Reclaiming Love, Returning to Self

Some people do not believe in the existence of love, thinking they no longer need it. In reality, they have simply been abandoned by the love within themselves and disconnected from their true self.

To break free from this loveless predicament, one must start from the heart, rediscover the ability to love oneself, trust others, and embrace life. Only then can they reconnect with the love deep within, experiencing the warmth and strength it brings. When love is no longer an illusion but a tangible part of life, they will realize that love has always been within them—it never truly left.

Perhaps, on the journey of life, we all need to reconnect with love. For only love can make our lives whole and meaningful; only love can free us from loneliness. May those who have once felt abandoned by their own love find its source again deep within, embrace love and warmth, and move toward their true selves, walking the path of a fulfilled life.

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修行之人:大觉者必然是大世者

Master Wonder · Apr 15, 2025

提要:短文一篇,适合信仰修行者。 “修行”二字,往往被误解为远离尘世、闭目清修,仿佛只有在山林古刹之中才有“道”的回音。然而,真正的修行,从来不是逃避世界,而是透过世界,识破世界,超越世界。而能大觉者,必先为大世者。 大世者,乃体验世界、悟解世界之人。 他不逃避苦难,不回避复杂,也不拒绝人情世故;他入世深广,心眼敞开,在生老病死、荣辱沉浮、情爱利害中亲历体验,不以一己喜恶躲避真实。 他愿意活过整个“人”的全部过程,穿越欲望、恐惧、迷惑、失落与狂喜。他深入五浊恶世,不为浊所染,而是在其中锻炼出一颗不动之心。 没有深入世界的人,无法真正觉知人生的虚妄与实相;没有体验人性的幽微与苦痛,亦难窥见“空性”的深远。 许多修行人误以为断绝尘缘即可得道,殊不知闭门清净之中易生幻觉——以为自己已远离烦恼,实则烦恼只是暂时未被触动。 唯有大世之人,才可能真切而深刻地通达众生苦乐、生命本质,从而升起大悲、大智、大愿。 释迦牟尼曾贵为太子,却不恋王宫富贵,而是踏入人世之苦,亲历病患、死亡、衰老之无常,由“观苦”而觉悟四谛,成就无上正觉。 他未尝舍世而成佛,乃由深观此世而得“出世”。 耶稣亦非天上之神祇,高高在上地俯视世人,而是以血肉之躯行于尘世,与罪人同行,与贫者共处,经历人间之背叛与十字架之苦,才化身为神圣之道。 大道从来不在庙堂深处,而在人间烟火中。 大觉者,必然是大世者。 因为只有真正见过黑暗,才知道光的方向;只有体验过深沉之痛,才会长出悲悯之心;只有彻底融入世界,才能彻底超越世界。 修行不是修一个“我”远离世界,而是修一个“我”能承载整个世界,并在承载之中,看破它的虚妄,识得它的真相。 故修行者不可浅尝即止,不可避世求安,而要有大心量、大气魄,敢于与世界同呼吸共苦乐。 不是为了沉迷世间,而是为了悟透世间;不是为满足我执,而是为了超越我执;不是为了成为某种“成功修行者”的形象,而是为了脱去一切形象,直面真实的生命流动。 一切成道之人,必是深度活过的人;一切大觉之人,必是大世之人。 他们不拒世界,也不依赖世界。 他们活得比谁都深、都真,然后从尘土中站起,以真实的觉知与清醒回望世界。 如莲花出于淤泥,芬芳不染;如慧灯照见世相,明心而不迷心。 一乘公益奉献此文。

被名声推倒的“大和尚”

Master Wonder · Apr 11, 2025

本文基于个人的见闻,适合修行者阅读。 佛门古刹丛林中,时常可见一些所谓“大和尚”被名声所推拥而上,居于高位。然细观其行,修证尚浅,功夫未成,不过因世人敬仰、名声骤起,遂为虚荣心所挟,过早披上高僧之袈裟。 未得而自谓得,未悟而强说悟,其道心已在不觉间迷失于浮誉之中。 一念沉迷,如飞蛾扑火,初心虽存,却渐为名利所蚀,不能自拔。 久而久之,修行寸步难进,实令人惋叹。 一、误入名利之网 佛门有言:“名闻利养,修行之大贼也。”虚名最易招惹贪著之心,亦最能令道行之人起傲慢、落魔境。如古德所警:“很多修行人到后来着魔,正因名气一大,利养一多,贪心与傲慢随之而起。”名声如蜜,初尝甘甜,久则生黏,使人沉醉其中,不能自省。 未有实证的僧人,若骤得礼拜供养,便易误以为道业已成;赞誉盈耳,贡高我慢随之而生。贪嗔痴慢暗中增长,清净之心地为之蒙蔽,魔障亦由此而起。 昔日精进之志,也在种种应酬中日渐耗散。表面光鲜,实则空转;身披法衣,心离正道。 此辈既被名推而倒,便非身倒,而是心倒;非形弱,而是志失。其修行之根,已摇摇欲坠。 更有甚者,若耽于伪饰德相,自视甚高,便不但自误,亦误导众生。佛制明戒:“未得谓得,未证言证,是大妄语。” 若因名而生妄,虽无明言,内心亦犯实失。 久而久之,正信崩塌,德行损耗,堕落之路已悄然成型。或如提婆达多,因贪权夺势而堕入深渊,遗祸千古;或虽不至覆灭,亦如折翼之鸟,再难高飞于菩提之境。 二、明心见性,破妄归真 究其根本,修行之要,在于内观自性,不随外境所转。佛陀早示:众生本具如来智慧德相,惟妄想执著所障,故不能显现。换言之,自性之光本自圆明,惟因名利之尘覆之,令其黯淡。 “大和尚”之“大”,不在法座高低,众口称颂,而在其是否真实照见本心,明心见性。 唯有返照内心,破除执著,见诸法如幻,方可照亮修行之路。 如佛经所言:“名闻如暗影,惟智光内照,则影随光灭。”若以智慧观照自心,识得世间声名如镜花水月,便可安然行于红尘之中而不为其所染。 “自性光芒,照亮修行”。此为真修之道。外名可夺人耳目,却夺不了本性光明;浮荣可动人心志,却遮不住自心本觉。唯有慧眼自照,于妄中见真,于扰中守静,方为菩提正道。 三、淡泊明志,道在不言中 佛门中不乏警世之范,如印光大师、虚云老和尚等近代高僧,一生淡泊自守,不为名累,不受利役。十方供养,尽归弘法利生,不存毫末私心。正因他们以戒为体,以智慧自照,故能八风不动,荣辱不惊,愈陷尘劳,愈显道光。 由此可见,修行之根在己不在他;得道之要在证不在声。 外界千万人的敬仰,无法代替一人内心的觉悟;名利再盛,亦掩不住未明之心。 惟有自性光芒源源不息,日日照耀其心,方能守得寂寂道心,于喧嚣中自有一方清凉净土。 结语:返本归真,不负道心 僧人修行,贵在如莲花出淤泥而不染,身处红尘而心在道中。 凡被名声推上高位者,尤当时时自省:若德不配位,福难久持;若妄心生起,必招迷途。 自性光芒,照亮修行。唯返本归真,方不负出家初心;不逐名利,方可守得清净本愿;不迷虚妄,始得破妄归真。 愿一切修行者皆能以惭愧为衣,以清净为食,以定慧为灯,安住如如之境,行于无碍之道。如此,则道心不坠,菩提日增,既不致为名所推而倒,亦能于无声处,守得一灯长明。

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